Sorry if I'm old-school, but I will not change the following rules, and you can't make me:
1. Ending punctuation goes INSIDE quotation marks.
She said, "I like books."
NOT She said, "I like books".
2. Serial commas should not, under any circumstance, be left out.
She liked books, books, and more books.
NOT She liked, books, books and more books.
3. For any singular noun that ends in -s, add 's for the possessive.
Sandy Barnes's new novel speaks to me.
NOT Sandy Barnes' new novel speaks to me.
4. Type two spaces after every sentence, rather than one. It is simply easier to read.
I feel better now.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Letting Your Child Do Things for Himself
We have something called the "Morning Routine" for our kids. Every morning - even weekends - the kids have to get up and do the following:
- Make bed
- Shower (if you are over 8yo)
- Get dressed
- Put pajamas away
- Make breakfast & clean up dishes
- Brush teeth
- Clean up your mess in the bathroom
- Make your lunch and pack your backpack (school day)
Before the kids can leave the house, we ask, "Did you do your morning routine?" Before they are allowed do something "fun" in the morning (like watch tv, play Wii), they must complete the morning routine. They really don't want Dad to catch them playing Wii in their pajamas.
My husband came up with this, and it really works for our family. I don't think the kids have ever been late to school because somebody slept in or dilly-dallied in the morning. The kids get up with a purpose and march right along.
One of my friends (kids ages 5 & 3) asked me how long it took me to get all the kids ready in the morning. I said it doesn't take me any time at all, except maybe 5 minutes before we leave to check that the morning routine was complete. She said, "But doesn't breakfast take you forever with four kids?"
Not when they do it themselves. I get to enjoy a cup of coffee and get a shower while the kids eat.
She really didn't understand this. I mean, how could a 3-year-old make his own breakfast?
We have a kitchen cabinet dedicated to the kids, with plastic/microwaveable dishes and cups. It's down low so even the 3yo can get his own dishes. We also have a breakfast cabinet, and a breakfast drawer in the fridge. Both contain stuff for easy breakfast prep. Our 3yo can get fruit, yogurt, dry cereal, or a Nutri-Grain bar. If one of the other kids will assist, he can make a frozen waffle or toast. Simple.
This is a great concept to parent by: why do something for your child that the child can do for himself?
- Make bed
- Shower (if you are over 8yo)
- Get dressed
- Put pajamas away
- Make breakfast & clean up dishes
- Brush teeth
- Clean up your mess in the bathroom
- Make your lunch and pack your backpack (school day)
Before the kids can leave the house, we ask, "Did you do your morning routine?" Before they are allowed do something "fun" in the morning (like watch tv, play Wii), they must complete the morning routine. They really don't want Dad to catch them playing Wii in their pajamas.
My husband came up with this, and it really works for our family. I don't think the kids have ever been late to school because somebody slept in or dilly-dallied in the morning. The kids get up with a purpose and march right along.
One of my friends (kids ages 5 & 3) asked me how long it took me to get all the kids ready in the morning. I said it doesn't take me any time at all, except maybe 5 minutes before we leave to check that the morning routine was complete. She said, "But doesn't breakfast take you forever with four kids?"
Not when they do it themselves. I get to enjoy a cup of coffee and get a shower while the kids eat.
She really didn't understand this. I mean, how could a 3-year-old make his own breakfast?
We have a kitchen cabinet dedicated to the kids, with plastic/microwaveable dishes and cups. It's down low so even the 3yo can get his own dishes. We also have a breakfast cabinet, and a breakfast drawer in the fridge. Both contain stuff for easy breakfast prep. Our 3yo can get fruit, yogurt, dry cereal, or a Nutri-Grain bar. If one of the other kids will assist, he can make a frozen waffle or toast. Simple.
This is a great concept to parent by: why do something for your child that the child can do for himself?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Old Friendships Change - Or maybe It's Me
I ended a 23-year friendship today. Feels awful. I've spent the afternoon bawling my eyes out.
But I needed to do it. I think it went on too long as it was. We had simply grown apart, and had little more in common than our shared past and genuine affection for each other. At this time in my life, that is not enough.
I don't have a lot of time for friends right now, so the time I do spend with them, I want it to be meaningful. This friend and I had fallen into the sad pattern of her talking about her relationships, me listening and giving her advice, and her ignoring my advice and plowing on as before. Rarely did I get to talk about my own life, and if I did, she had little to offer and quickly changed the subject - back to her.
Now, I love this friend dearly - we've been through a lot together. But every encounter with her left me disappointed, frustrated, and ultimately angry. I needed SOMETHING back.
Some day I hope we can reconnect again. Maybe in the future she will change, or maybe what I need out of a friendship will change. Either way could work. I'm open to that.
Instead of sharing coffee with her, I will pull out my laptop and post something new on my blog. Same difference, really, except with the blog, I know I'll actually be heard.
But I needed to do it. I think it went on too long as it was. We had simply grown apart, and had little more in common than our shared past and genuine affection for each other. At this time in my life, that is not enough.
I don't have a lot of time for friends right now, so the time I do spend with them, I want it to be meaningful. This friend and I had fallen into the sad pattern of her talking about her relationships, me listening and giving her advice, and her ignoring my advice and plowing on as before. Rarely did I get to talk about my own life, and if I did, she had little to offer and quickly changed the subject - back to her.
Now, I love this friend dearly - we've been through a lot together. But every encounter with her left me disappointed, frustrated, and ultimately angry. I needed SOMETHING back.
Some day I hope we can reconnect again. Maybe in the future she will change, or maybe what I need out of a friendship will change. Either way could work. I'm open to that.
Instead of sharing coffee with her, I will pull out my laptop and post something new on my blog. Same difference, really, except with the blog, I know I'll actually be heard.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Author I Love Wrote me Back!
I've lived near Los Angeles all my life, but I've always had an aversion to celebrities. I've run into countless famous people, but I've never asked for an autograph, never tried to take a photograph, never written a fan letter. Until last night.
I was browsing sf sites, looking for some short stories to read, when I came across a listing of sf authors and their websites. I saw the listing for Joe Haldeman and clicked on it.
Joe Haldeman's The Forever War was really the first sf book I read as an adult. It changed my view of the world, and I've read it many times over the years.
I clicked on Joe's FAQ and read his advice for writers. At the bottom, he listed his email address and said to write to him if you had a question not addressed there. Again, I have a serious AVERSION to doing this, but I couldn't resist - I shot him an email right away.
And what do you know? He wrote me back! We have a three-hour time difference, sure, but by 9:00 this morning, he'd already replied (I wrote last night just before midnight). Amazing.
Mr. Haldeman, thank you. Not only was your response ridiculously prompt, but you took the time to give me advice. I am only a stranger to you, but you took me seriously. I'm truly grateful.
Now I'm going to go print out that email. At the very least, I'm putting it in my files. Who knows - it may just go under my pillow.
I was browsing sf sites, looking for some short stories to read, when I came across a listing of sf authors and their websites. I saw the listing for Joe Haldeman and clicked on it.
Joe Haldeman's The Forever War was really the first sf book I read as an adult. It changed my view of the world, and I've read it many times over the years.
I clicked on Joe's FAQ and read his advice for writers. At the bottom, he listed his email address and said to write to him if you had a question not addressed there. Again, I have a serious AVERSION to doing this, but I couldn't resist - I shot him an email right away.
And what do you know? He wrote me back! We have a three-hour time difference, sure, but by 9:00 this morning, he'd already replied (I wrote last night just before midnight). Amazing.
Mr. Haldeman, thank you. Not only was your response ridiculously prompt, but you took the time to give me advice. I am only a stranger to you, but you took me seriously. I'm truly grateful.
Now I'm going to go print out that email. At the very least, I'm putting it in my files. Who knows - it may just go under my pillow.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Living Away From Family
Things in California are very scary right now. I understand that things are scary around the nation, but California is in a serious mess, and I don't see it cleaning up that mess any time soon. The solution? Move out of California.
We've contemplated moving many times. My husband has family in Kansas and South Carolina, and I love both places. Even though I'm a California girl born and bred, there's much to be said for a simpler, cheaper life. If it were all about money, though, we'd have moved long ago.
All my family is here. My parents, my two living grandparents, two uncles, two aunts, 15 cousins, my brother & sister-in-law & my new 11-month-old nephew - all within a five-minute drive. That's tough to give up. I mean, how would we spend the holidays away from them? What would I do when one of the kids is puking at home, and I need someone to pick another kid up from school? Here, I've always had a built-in backup system.
I know it's common these days for kids to move away from their hometown and settle either where they went to college or where a lucrative job waits. Most of my parents' friends rarely see their grandkids - the grandkids live several states or more away - while my parents see their grandkids almost on a daily basis. The absence of that would be hard on both the grandparents and the grandkids.
A couple of our closest friends are ex-pats from the UK. In the absence of close family, they've developed an amazing network of friends who serve the same function. They spend holidays together, celebrate successes together, raise their kids together. They are very happy.
Could I do that? Could I pack off to a new place and find a network of friends who don't know me from Adam who could take the place of my trusted family?
I could if I had to. That's the sad thing - living in California is so expensive, so burdened with taxes and unnecessary laws, so crowded with illegal immigrants, so hectic and fast-paced, that it's BETTER TO LEAVE MY FAMILY than to continue to try to exist here. California, WAKE UP! You're driving people away, good people who just want to live a modest, happy life. Pretty soon, all that's left will be the illegals, Hollywood, and the over-indulged athletes. Oh, and the Real Housewives of Orange County. Frankly, California, you can have them.
We've contemplated moving many times. My husband has family in Kansas and South Carolina, and I love both places. Even though I'm a California girl born and bred, there's much to be said for a simpler, cheaper life. If it were all about money, though, we'd have moved long ago.
All my family is here. My parents, my two living grandparents, two uncles, two aunts, 15 cousins, my brother & sister-in-law & my new 11-month-old nephew - all within a five-minute drive. That's tough to give up. I mean, how would we spend the holidays away from them? What would I do when one of the kids is puking at home, and I need someone to pick another kid up from school? Here, I've always had a built-in backup system.
I know it's common these days for kids to move away from their hometown and settle either where they went to college or where a lucrative job waits. Most of my parents' friends rarely see their grandkids - the grandkids live several states or more away - while my parents see their grandkids almost on a daily basis. The absence of that would be hard on both the grandparents and the grandkids.
A couple of our closest friends are ex-pats from the UK. In the absence of close family, they've developed an amazing network of friends who serve the same function. They spend holidays together, celebrate successes together, raise their kids together. They are very happy.
Could I do that? Could I pack off to a new place and find a network of friends who don't know me from Adam who could take the place of my trusted family?
I could if I had to. That's the sad thing - living in California is so expensive, so burdened with taxes and unnecessary laws, so crowded with illegal immigrants, so hectic and fast-paced, that it's BETTER TO LEAVE MY FAMILY than to continue to try to exist here. California, WAKE UP! You're driving people away, good people who just want to live a modest, happy life. Pretty soon, all that's left will be the illegals, Hollywood, and the over-indulged athletes. Oh, and the Real Housewives of Orange County. Frankly, California, you can have them.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
My Books
I haven't made time to blog because I've been working on my novels feverishly. Taking care of 4 kids, Grandpa, and husband leaves little time for writing, but...ta da! I'm finally ready to send out agent queries for A Finger in the Pie.
This is the third novel I've written, but the first I'm proud of. It's not the Great American Novel, but I think it's a good read.
I've been reading every agent blog, website, and bit of advice I can find. Thankfully, there are a lot of dedicated people out there in the publishing world, eager to help the novice writer and to share their knowledge. The problem is, there's just so much of it. Almost too much. I'm overwhelmed.
My deadline for sending out my first batch of queries is April 1. It's doable, if I don't sleep too much. But I think the process, finally writing after years of being unable to find the time or the discipline, finally having the courage to put myself out there and open myself up to rejection, is all worth it. I haven't been this excited in a long time.
Wish me luck.
This is the third novel I've written, but the first I'm proud of. It's not the Great American Novel, but I think it's a good read.
I've been reading every agent blog, website, and bit of advice I can find. Thankfully, there are a lot of dedicated people out there in the publishing world, eager to help the novice writer and to share their knowledge. The problem is, there's just so much of it. Almost too much. I'm overwhelmed.
My deadline for sending out my first batch of queries is April 1. It's doable, if I don't sleep too much. But I think the process, finally writing after years of being unable to find the time or the discipline, finally having the courage to put myself out there and open myself up to rejection, is all worth it. I haven't been this excited in a long time.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Working Friends Don't Understand
I have heard this more lately than I can stand: "How can you stay at home? Aren't you bored? Don't you need some adult interaction?" My friends who are mothers but work outside the home just don't get it.
My response: "How can you stand to be away? Children are not an accessory in your life - they are your life."
I'm actually not one of those nuts who think that daycare makes for wayward children. I am divorced and remarried, and in my first marriage, I worked while my husband stayed home (you can see how well that worked out). And inbetween marriages, I also had to work just to eat, so I get it. I understand that many situations dictate the necessity for daycare or a nanny.
My best friend is a Deputy Coroner. It is a job not many people can do, and she sees it as a calling. I get that, too.
But I would rather be home than do anything else. Am I often bored? Well, bored isn't the right word. I don't have time to be bored. But washing dishes, doing laundry, dusting, vacuuming, driving carpools, assisting with fractions, are not exactly brain teasers. There's a lot of monotony involved. But doing the necessary un-fun things is just a fact of life.
Do I crave adult interaction? Not so much, but that's just me. I'd rather be alone, reading and writing, than attending mom groups and playdates. I don't feel the need to debate the safety of vaccinations, or hear how I'm filling up landfills and destroying the environment by using disposable diapers. Been there, done that. These days I interact with my close friends, arrange playdates so my kids can have friends, and spend my down time at night with my husband or by myself. That is what I find fulfilling.
Some women are not born to be moms (even if they are mothers). I don't understand that. If you don't find it satisfying to watch your kids on the soccer field, or hear them recite their multiplication tables, or see them try sushi for the first time and find they like it - why did you have kids?
My response: "How can you stand to be away? Children are not an accessory in your life - they are your life."
I'm actually not one of those nuts who think that daycare makes for wayward children. I am divorced and remarried, and in my first marriage, I worked while my husband stayed home (you can see how well that worked out). And inbetween marriages, I also had to work just to eat, so I get it. I understand that many situations dictate the necessity for daycare or a nanny.
My best friend is a Deputy Coroner. It is a job not many people can do, and she sees it as a calling. I get that, too.
But I would rather be home than do anything else. Am I often bored? Well, bored isn't the right word. I don't have time to be bored. But washing dishes, doing laundry, dusting, vacuuming, driving carpools, assisting with fractions, are not exactly brain teasers. There's a lot of monotony involved. But doing the necessary un-fun things is just a fact of life.
Do I crave adult interaction? Not so much, but that's just me. I'd rather be alone, reading and writing, than attending mom groups and playdates. I don't feel the need to debate the safety of vaccinations, or hear how I'm filling up landfills and destroying the environment by using disposable diapers. Been there, done that. These days I interact with my close friends, arrange playdates so my kids can have friends, and spend my down time at night with my husband or by myself. That is what I find fulfilling.
Some women are not born to be moms (even if they are mothers). I don't understand that. If you don't find it satisfying to watch your kids on the soccer field, or hear them recite their multiplication tables, or see them try sushi for the first time and find they like it - why did you have kids?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
School Hours Set Without Families in Mind
I have a small bone to pick with my children's elementary school.
Let me preface by saying that the education they are receiving at Redhill Elementary School in the Tustin Unified School District exceeds my expectations in every way. Mrs. Ann Lambourne (kindergarten) and Mrs. Janelle Crain (4th grade) are the two best teachers any of my kids have ever had - they are dedicated, hard-working, and truly care about their students. School sceretary Jan Belanger - you rock! Principal Wendy Hudson - I would not want my children attending school anywhere else.
However...
The hours set for the school day are extremely difficult on families.
My 4th grader (all 4th & 5th graders) goes from 8:15 to 2:38 (very odd, but okay). My late bird kindergartener goes from 9:57 to 1:20. On Wednesdays, 1st through 5th grades get out at 1:15, but I'm not "allowed" to get in line to pick up my kindergartener on Wednesdays until the kindergarteners are actually released, and the line in LONG - all the kindergarteners have to wait, then they have to be shuttled between a bunch of impatient cars. Not safe.
Most days I:
- Leave at 7:00 to take my daughter to OCHSA (totally unrelated to Redhill).
- Drop off 4th grader at 8:00.
- Drop off kinder at 9:57.
- Pick up kinder at 1:20.
- Pick up 4th grader at 2:38.
- Pick up daughter at 3:30.
On Wednesdays, I get a two-fer at 1:20, but it is a very unsafe situation for the kindergarten children.
On Fridays, OCHSA is out at 1:30, so my daughter has to wait until I get the kindergartener before I can get there.
Next year, my 5-year-old will be in first grade, and at least he will start school at the same time as our 5th grader. But 1st to 3rd gets out 24 minutes before 4th & 5th. That's 24 minutes too long to wait, but also not long enough to run home or run an errand in between. Makes no sense.
I also have an issue with the Banking Minutes program. The idea is for teachers to be able to have more time without students (and less work at home), so the school day is extended on M, T, TH, & F, so it can be cut back on Wednesdays. I understand this in theory, but how are working parents handling this? It is inconvenient for me, but at least I'm home, and I'm able to juggle my schedule around the kids. If I worked, it would be very difficult to have an alternate schedule one day a week.
If nothing else can change, please at least change the late bird dismissal time so that it does not coincide with the dismissal time of the rest of the school.
Let me preface by saying that the education they are receiving at Redhill Elementary School in the Tustin Unified School District exceeds my expectations in every way. Mrs. Ann Lambourne (kindergarten) and Mrs. Janelle Crain (4th grade) are the two best teachers any of my kids have ever had - they are dedicated, hard-working, and truly care about their students. School sceretary Jan Belanger - you rock! Principal Wendy Hudson - I would not want my children attending school anywhere else.
However...
The hours set for the school day are extremely difficult on families.
My 4th grader (all 4th & 5th graders) goes from 8:15 to 2:38 (very odd, but okay). My late bird kindergartener goes from 9:57 to 1:20. On Wednesdays, 1st through 5th grades get out at 1:15, but I'm not "allowed" to get in line to pick up my kindergartener on Wednesdays until the kindergarteners are actually released, and the line in LONG - all the kindergarteners have to wait, then they have to be shuttled between a bunch of impatient cars. Not safe.
Most days I:
- Leave at 7:00 to take my daughter to OCHSA (totally unrelated to Redhill).
- Drop off 4th grader at 8:00.
- Drop off kinder at 9:57.
- Pick up kinder at 1:20.
- Pick up 4th grader at 2:38.
- Pick up daughter at 3:30.
On Wednesdays, I get a two-fer at 1:20, but it is a very unsafe situation for the kindergarten children.
On Fridays, OCHSA is out at 1:30, so my daughter has to wait until I get the kindergartener before I can get there.
Next year, my 5-year-old will be in first grade, and at least he will start school at the same time as our 5th grader. But 1st to 3rd gets out 24 minutes before 4th & 5th. That's 24 minutes too long to wait, but also not long enough to run home or run an errand in between. Makes no sense.
I also have an issue with the Banking Minutes program. The idea is for teachers to be able to have more time without students (and less work at home), so the school day is extended on M, T, TH, & F, so it can be cut back on Wednesdays. I understand this in theory, but how are working parents handling this? It is inconvenient for me, but at least I'm home, and I'm able to juggle my schedule around the kids. If I worked, it would be very difficult to have an alternate schedule one day a week.
If nothing else can change, please at least change the late bird dismissal time so that it does not coincide with the dismissal time of the rest of the school.
Friday, March 12, 2010
My Husband Actually Questioned the Way I Run Errands
My husband does not run errands. I mean, he'll go to Home Depot or Micro Center, but that's it. I think he's been to the grocery store on his own maybe 2 or 3 times during our marriage, and that was only because I was nine months pregnant.
He actually had the audacity, the big fat hairy balls, to question how I run my errands. "Are you using coupons?" he asked. "Why do you buy that at Target? Isn't it cheaper at Costco?" and "You could really plan better - why do you need to go to the bank again? Weren't you there earlier this week?"
Huh? Not only are these the most annoying, infuriating questions I've ever been asked in my life, but why the hell does he care? If I want to waste my time going to the bank every damn day, I'm gonna do it. I don't have a lot of control over how I spend my day (kids come and go at specific times, certain chores just HAVE to be done), but the errand running? It's mine, baby, all mine.
Husband, back off! If I need your help or want your advice, I'll ask for it. Or, if you think you can do my job better than I do it, be my guest. I can just picture it - the 3-year-old squirming in the cart, you trying to lug a case of water, 8 gallons of milk, the giant 45-roll pack of toilet paper that takes all the room in your cart...but maybe I'm underestimating you. If I can do it every week, surely you can too.
He actually had the audacity, the big fat hairy balls, to question how I run my errands. "Are you using coupons?" he asked. "Why do you buy that at Target? Isn't it cheaper at Costco?" and "You could really plan better - why do you need to go to the bank again? Weren't you there earlier this week?"
Huh? Not only are these the most annoying, infuriating questions I've ever been asked in my life, but why the hell does he care? If I want to waste my time going to the bank every damn day, I'm gonna do it. I don't have a lot of control over how I spend my day (kids come and go at specific times, certain chores just HAVE to be done), but the errand running? It's mine, baby, all mine.
Husband, back off! If I need your help or want your advice, I'll ask for it. Or, if you think you can do my job better than I do it, be my guest. I can just picture it - the 3-year-old squirming in the cart, you trying to lug a case of water, 8 gallons of milk, the giant 45-roll pack of toilet paper that takes all the room in your cart...but maybe I'm underestimating you. If I can do it every week, surely you can too.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Census is Wasting Money!
So I'm opening the mail this morning, and I see a letter from the 2010 Census. Cool, I think. There's been a lot of talk about the Census, and I was excited to fill it out (okay, not excited, but kinda...interested). So I tear open the envelope and pull out the letter and what do I find?
A letter telling me that I will receive the Census form next week.
What?
People are losing their JOBS, and we are wasting money on a letter telling us we're going to get another letter??
Can any bureaucrat out there from the Department of Commerce or the Census Bureau explain this to me?
A letter telling me that I will receive the Census form next week.
What?
People are losing their JOBS, and we are wasting money on a letter telling us we're going to get another letter??
Can any bureaucrat out there from the Department of Commerce or the Census Bureau explain this to me?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Laundry Tip - Drying Large Comforters
Does it take you 3 or 4 cycles in the dryer to completely dry your large comforters?
Throw in 2 or 3 clean tennis balls. The comforter will dry in one cycle! It's a little loud, but it totally works.
Throw in 2 or 3 clean tennis balls. The comforter will dry in one cycle! It's a little loud, but it totally works.
A Set Bedtime Means More Adult Time
From the time our first child was born, we have had a set 8:00 bedtime for our kids. The only exception is when we aren't home.
Our oldest kids are now 12 and 9, and we still have the 8:00 bedtime. The older kids don't necessarily have to go to sleep - they can read, draw, write in their journals, clean out their closets (yeah, right) - but at 8:00, they retire to their rooms.
None of my friends have this rule for their kids, and almost none of them understand it. I ask, if you don't send your kids to bed at a decent time, how do you and your husband spend any quality time together? How do you find any time for yourself?
Maybe it's just me, but after 10 or 11pm, I'm not good for much. I'm up early, work hard all day, and need not only time with my husband, but time for myself, to read or write or just veg. I can only get that if the kids are fed, bathed, and tucked away out of my sight.
My best friend asked me, "Don't you let your kids watch American Idol?" Of course we do. But we Tivo it, and we'll watch it together after school. The last thing I want to waste my precious alone time on at night is television.
It helps that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I realize. If I had to work all day and only see my kids from 6pm on, I too would be reluctant to send them to bed. But that would be selfish of me. Kids need their rest, and they thrive on routines. The only drawback I've found from our schedule is that my daughter is often the first one to fall asleep at slumber parties (I do feel sorry for her on that count).
Does anyone else out there agree with me?
Our oldest kids are now 12 and 9, and we still have the 8:00 bedtime. The older kids don't necessarily have to go to sleep - they can read, draw, write in their journals, clean out their closets (yeah, right) - but at 8:00, they retire to their rooms.
None of my friends have this rule for their kids, and almost none of them understand it. I ask, if you don't send your kids to bed at a decent time, how do you and your husband spend any quality time together? How do you find any time for yourself?
Maybe it's just me, but after 10 or 11pm, I'm not good for much. I'm up early, work hard all day, and need not only time with my husband, but time for myself, to read or write or just veg. I can only get that if the kids are fed, bathed, and tucked away out of my sight.
My best friend asked me, "Don't you let your kids watch American Idol?" Of course we do. But we Tivo it, and we'll watch it together after school. The last thing I want to waste my precious alone time on at night is television.
It helps that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I realize. If I had to work all day and only see my kids from 6pm on, I too would be reluctant to send them to bed. But that would be selfish of me. Kids need their rest, and they thrive on routines. The only drawback I've found from our schedule is that my daughter is often the first one to fall asleep at slumber parties (I do feel sorry for her on that count).
Does anyone else out there agree with me?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
OCHSA -The Orange County High School of the Arts
Warning: Shameless Plug for OCHSA!
Our daughter is in her first year, seventh grade, at the Orange County High School of the Arts in Santa Ana, California. It is the best thing that ever happened to her.
Hannah is a rare individual, and I'll try to give you an unbiased (not quite possible, I realize) view of her. She is an artist and can draw/paint just about anything she can imagine. She has a beautiful singing voice - not radio-quality - but it works well and is impressive when she's on stage. She loves to act and perform. Stage-fright is not a concept she's familiar with.
She's taken voice, dance, and musical theater classes for years. She's had one year of violin in school, and one year of trumpet. (Yes, trumpet. She had to pick an instrument for the school music program, and she thought it would be cool to be able to wake her friends up the morning after a sleep-over with a loud blast on her horn.) Have you ever tried to blow a note, any note, on one of those damn things? All I could do was sputter and spit, my face bright red and cheeks aching. Hannah managed to play simple songs after only a few days, and she eventually worked up to learning the Battle Hymn of the Marines on her own. She's never taken piano, but she can listen to a song on the radio and figure it out on the piano in a few minutes.
She writes songs, poetry, and stories. My parents gave her a sewing machine two Christmases ago, and she taught herself to sew - she's made skirts, pillows, and dresses.
I don't know where she came from, or how she grew into this talented little thing. She is a mystery to me.
Growing up, she was always a little bit on the outside. In the first grade, her teacher loved her, said she was bright, but they had a problem that needed to be resolved. It seemed that Hannah would sing, all day long, in class. Even during tests. And her classmates were annoyed.
It started when she first began to talk, at age one. She wouldn't just talk, she would sing. She wouldn't say, "I'm getting dressed, Mama." Instead, she would sing in a made-up tune, "I'm...geeeettting dreeeeeeessed, now, Maaaaaamaaaaa! Snow Whiiiiiite would love my new shoooooooooes!"
And when she was two, we took her to swim lessons. When she was learning to float on her back, her instructor asked her to pick a song that they could sing together while she floated. How about "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?" the teacher suggested. Hannah said, "No, I got it," in her clear little voice. She turned over on her back, floating, and began to sing the notes that Ariel, the Little Mermaid, sang when Ursula took her voice: "Ah, ah, aaaaaahhh, ah, ah, ahhhhhh. Ah, ah, ahhhh, ah, ah, ahhhhhh."
I swear, the entire pool went silent as Hannah sang, loud and clear, and everyone recognized what she was singing.
That's my girl. My odd little creative bird.
OCHSA is a school full of odd little creative birds, and Hannah fits in in a way she never has before. The kids sing and dance down the hallway. They create comic strips in science class, create mosaic Mayan masterpieces in history. Ballroom dancing is her PE class, and her extracurricular conservatory classes (acting, voice, creative writing, etc.) are built into the school day. Hannah would live there if she could.
Thank you, OCHSA, for giving my daughter a place to feel at home. Thank you for reinforcing her love of the arts, and for giving her an opportunity to shine. Thank you taking all the oddball kids and accepting them, just as they are.
Our daughter is in her first year, seventh grade, at the Orange County High School of the Arts in Santa Ana, California. It is the best thing that ever happened to her.
Hannah is a rare individual, and I'll try to give you an unbiased (not quite possible, I realize) view of her. She is an artist and can draw/paint just about anything she can imagine. She has a beautiful singing voice - not radio-quality - but it works well and is impressive when she's on stage. She loves to act and perform. Stage-fright is not a concept she's familiar with.
She's taken voice, dance, and musical theater classes for years. She's had one year of violin in school, and one year of trumpet. (Yes, trumpet. She had to pick an instrument for the school music program, and she thought it would be cool to be able to wake her friends up the morning after a sleep-over with a loud blast on her horn.) Have you ever tried to blow a note, any note, on one of those damn things? All I could do was sputter and spit, my face bright red and cheeks aching. Hannah managed to play simple songs after only a few days, and she eventually worked up to learning the Battle Hymn of the Marines on her own. She's never taken piano, but she can listen to a song on the radio and figure it out on the piano in a few minutes.
She writes songs, poetry, and stories. My parents gave her a sewing machine two Christmases ago, and she taught herself to sew - she's made skirts, pillows, and dresses.
I don't know where she came from, or how she grew into this talented little thing. She is a mystery to me.
Growing up, she was always a little bit on the outside. In the first grade, her teacher loved her, said she was bright, but they had a problem that needed to be resolved. It seemed that Hannah would sing, all day long, in class. Even during tests. And her classmates were annoyed.
It started when she first began to talk, at age one. She wouldn't just talk, she would sing. She wouldn't say, "I'm getting dressed, Mama." Instead, she would sing in a made-up tune, "I'm...geeeettting dreeeeeeessed, now, Maaaaaamaaaaa! Snow Whiiiiiite would love my new shoooooooooes!"
And when she was two, we took her to swim lessons. When she was learning to float on her back, her instructor asked her to pick a song that they could sing together while she floated. How about "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?" the teacher suggested. Hannah said, "No, I got it," in her clear little voice. She turned over on her back, floating, and began to sing the notes that Ariel, the Little Mermaid, sang when Ursula took her voice: "Ah, ah, aaaaaahhh, ah, ah, ahhhhhh. Ah, ah, ahhhh, ah, ah, ahhhhhh."
I swear, the entire pool went silent as Hannah sang, loud and clear, and everyone recognized what she was singing.
That's my girl. My odd little creative bird.
OCHSA is a school full of odd little creative birds, and Hannah fits in in a way she never has before. The kids sing and dance down the hallway. They create comic strips in science class, create mosaic Mayan masterpieces in history. Ballroom dancing is her PE class, and her extracurricular conservatory classes (acting, voice, creative writing, etc.) are built into the school day. Hannah would live there if she could.
Thank you, OCHSA, for giving my daughter a place to feel at home. Thank you for reinforcing her love of the arts, and for giving her an opportunity to shine. Thank you taking all the oddball kids and accepting them, just as they are.
A Day in the Life
God love him, my husband is clueless.
When he gets up in the morning, what do you think is the first thing my husband does? He plays "World of Warcraft." Very important to get at least 30 minutes of play in before his day starts.
When I get up in the morning, what do you think I do?
1. Make COFFEE and pour first cup!
2. Start washing machine, unload dryer from night before.
3. Unload dishwasher.
4. Help Grandpa get dressed, make his bed, get him pushed up to the table for breakfast.
5. Drive daughter to school at the Orange County High School of the Arts - 40 min round trip.
6. Clean up after Grandpa's breakfast - sweep and mop floor, do dishes, change his shirt.
7. Fold laundry, put it away. Move wet laundry to dryer. Start new load.
8. Make sure Jackson (9), Alex (3), and Tyler (5) are actually eating something decent (not cookie dough, popcorn, or fruit snacks). Get them to brush teeth, put on clean underwear, make beds.
And this is all before 8:00am.
Sure, I could sit on the couch and nurse my coffee, catch up on my Tivo'd American Idol or Project Runway episodes. But my day would SUCK if I did that. I'd be behind. The house would be chaos. I don't have a nanny or a housekeeper. It's all up to me.
This is not meant to be a complaint about my husband. Actually, I'm just curious. How do you start your day? How do you get going and keep up the momentum? How do you make sure it all gets done?
When he gets up in the morning, what do you think is the first thing my husband does? He plays "World of Warcraft." Very important to get at least 30 minutes of play in before his day starts.
When I get up in the morning, what do you think I do?
1. Make COFFEE and pour first cup!
2. Start washing machine, unload dryer from night before.
3. Unload dishwasher.
4. Help Grandpa get dressed, make his bed, get him pushed up to the table for breakfast.
5. Drive daughter to school at the Orange County High School of the Arts - 40 min round trip.
6. Clean up after Grandpa's breakfast - sweep and mop floor, do dishes, change his shirt.
7. Fold laundry, put it away. Move wet laundry to dryer. Start new load.
8. Make sure Jackson (9), Alex (3), and Tyler (5) are actually eating something decent (not cookie dough, popcorn, or fruit snacks). Get them to brush teeth, put on clean underwear, make beds.
And this is all before 8:00am.
Sure, I could sit on the couch and nurse my coffee, catch up on my Tivo'd American Idol or Project Runway episodes. But my day would SUCK if I did that. I'd be behind. The house would be chaos. I don't have a nanny or a housekeeper. It's all up to me.
This is not meant to be a complaint about my husband. Actually, I'm just curious. How do you start your day? How do you get going and keep up the momentum? How do you make sure it all gets done?
Monday, March 8, 2010
WTF???
I had to share this:
http://cbs13.com/politics/no.cussing.week.2.1519540.html
Our hardworking CA legislature has passed a resolution to declare the first week in March "Cuss Free Week."
Why the f*** are they wasting time and money on this? People are losing their jobs, their homes, and they want us to stop cursing??!! F*** that! Those f***ing a**holes don't have a f***ing clue!
As if the f***-up on our state budget, exorbitant business taxes and regulations, and excessive property taxes weren't bad enough...why the hell are we living in this state??
http://cbs13.com/politics/no.cussing.week.2.1519540.html
Our hardworking CA legislature has passed a resolution to declare the first week in March "Cuss Free Week."
Why the f*** are they wasting time and money on this? People are losing their jobs, their homes, and they want us to stop cursing??!! F*** that! Those f***ing a**holes don't have a f***ing clue!
As if the f***-up on our state budget, exorbitant business taxes and regulations, and excessive property taxes weren't bad enough...why the hell are we living in this state??
Raising A Girl
We have four children: girl,12, and boys 9, 5, and 3.
Got into a discussion today with a mom of our 5-year-old's friend. In addition to the 5-year-old boy, she has twin 4-year-old girls. I told her I was a little perturbed to find out that my mother - good old Grandma - had let my daughter watch "Sixteen Candles." She didn't understand why I was upset.
Okay, it's a John Hughes classic. I get it. But we've been fairly strict with our daughter, my mom is aware of this, and watching "Sixteen Candles" is not the way I want my daughter to form opinions about how teenagers should behave. Am I being a fuddy-duddy?
When my daughter was in the 4th grade (she's currently in 7th), she and all the girls in her class were invited to a swim party. Out of 18 girls, my daughter was the only one in a one-piece bathing suit. None of them had any kind of body to speak of, of course, but to me, that really wasn't the point. Half the girls lost their tops every time they jumped in the pool, and moms spent more time tying the tops back on than actually supervising their children in the water. What is the point of putting a 9-year-old in a two-piece? To look cute? At 9? Two-pieces are adorable on toddlers (though still impractical), but at 9 you're just forcing your daughter to be uncomfortable. And you're not teaching her a thing about modesty.
I'm only 34 and am the farthest thing from a prude that you can find. I grew up with no curfew, with no chores, with little in the way of discipline. I had my share of fun, made my share of mistakes, and while nothing I did was irreparably damaging, a few boundaries would have saved me a lot of grief. In this way, I didn't learn what to do with my kids from my parents - I learned what not to do.
We're slowly loosening the noose around our daughter's neck - she finally has the cell phone she's been begging for, and we now allow her to text (but not during school, and not after 8pm). But we monitor her texts regularly, and she knows that if she doesn't want us to read it, she better not write it. She is now allowed to wear a tankini, as long as it covers her stomach. She is not allowed to date (some of her school friends actually are), and beyond a school dance, I don't know when we'll allow it. She's only 12!
My mother recently took my daughter clothes shopping. Mom called me, laughing.
"What's up?" I asked her.
"Your daughter is priceless," she said. "She actually told me that I couldn't pick anything else for her to try on, because she thinks that you'd think everything I pick is 'inappropriate.'"
I sniffed into the phone. "Excellent."
You know you're doing a decent job when your kids are far away from you and still hear you whispering in their ears.
Got into a discussion today with a mom of our 5-year-old's friend. In addition to the 5-year-old boy, she has twin 4-year-old girls. I told her I was a little perturbed to find out that my mother - good old Grandma - had let my daughter watch "Sixteen Candles." She didn't understand why I was upset.
Okay, it's a John Hughes classic. I get it. But we've been fairly strict with our daughter, my mom is aware of this, and watching "Sixteen Candles" is not the way I want my daughter to form opinions about how teenagers should behave. Am I being a fuddy-duddy?
When my daughter was in the 4th grade (she's currently in 7th), she and all the girls in her class were invited to a swim party. Out of 18 girls, my daughter was the only one in a one-piece bathing suit. None of them had any kind of body to speak of, of course, but to me, that really wasn't the point. Half the girls lost their tops every time they jumped in the pool, and moms spent more time tying the tops back on than actually supervising their children in the water. What is the point of putting a 9-year-old in a two-piece? To look cute? At 9? Two-pieces are adorable on toddlers (though still impractical), but at 9 you're just forcing your daughter to be uncomfortable. And you're not teaching her a thing about modesty.
I'm only 34 and am the farthest thing from a prude that you can find. I grew up with no curfew, with no chores, with little in the way of discipline. I had my share of fun, made my share of mistakes, and while nothing I did was irreparably damaging, a few boundaries would have saved me a lot of grief. In this way, I didn't learn what to do with my kids from my parents - I learned what not to do.
We're slowly loosening the noose around our daughter's neck - she finally has the cell phone she's been begging for, and we now allow her to text (but not during school, and not after 8pm). But we monitor her texts regularly, and she knows that if she doesn't want us to read it, she better not write it. She is now allowed to wear a tankini, as long as it covers her stomach. She is not allowed to date (some of her school friends actually are), and beyond a school dance, I don't know when we'll allow it. She's only 12!
My mother recently took my daughter clothes shopping. Mom called me, laughing.
"What's up?" I asked her.
"Your daughter is priceless," she said. "She actually told me that I couldn't pick anything else for her to try on, because she thinks that you'd think everything I pick is 'inappropriate.'"
I sniffed into the phone. "Excellent."
You know you're doing a decent job when your kids are far away from you and still hear you whispering in their ears.
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