One of my friends asked me today about self-publishing. "Why don't you just do that?" she asked, after I told her about my query letters to agents. "You could save yourself all this grief."
Probably. But self-publishing misses the point for me. I don't just want my book in bound form so I can have it on my shelf and give it out to friends at Christmas. I want to go through the process, and I want to become a better writer.
I believe in myself. I believe that if I work hard enough, improve enough, eventually I'll be able to work as a professional in this business. It may not be quick, and it may not be pretty, but I'll get there.
If I run out and publish my own novel, how will I know that it's any good? How will I know if anyone wants to read it? How do I know if I really appeal to the market - after all, a thing only has value if someone is willing to buy it.
On the other hand, if I get no responses from queries, I suppose I could push ahead and sell my book on my own. If a writer really believes in her project, why wouldn't she?
The only answer I have is that I'm a writer. If the professionals won't back my current novel, I will listen to any advice they give and write something else. I have 5000 ideas in my head, and I enjoy writing. Even if my works don't sell, I still enjoy the process. I'm doing what I love.
That's enough.
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